So that I don't have a blank 'Compose' screen.

I found this cute. Thought you all might enjoy.

Today very well may be a waste of a day, though I'm determined for it not to be. It's a day off you see - an opportunity to get everything done or nothing at all.

Factors in favor of the former:
-I love getting things done on my day off. Should be enough motivation...right?
-The things that need to be done

• dishes
• laundry put away
• studying Biochemistry
• a little grocery shopping, in prep for the Mandarin Chicken I'll be making tonight
• Make Mandarin Chicken
• Do some exchanging at Target/Macy's (note to self: may be postponeable to Saturday.)
• Exercise (which I always want to do, but today need to do, due to earlier failed attempt - see below)
• Write letter to brother (a daunting task, again, see below)
• Oh yes - getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc.

Factors hell-bent on making sure that I don't accomplish this:

• My "pains" as we'll call them, since after months of doctoring we have no diagnosis as of yet, are flaring up.  Well, the fatigue portion anyhow.  Yesterday when I woke up, it was almost literally painful to do so.  Now, normally I don't enjoy waking up, but after half an hour or so, I'm at least functional.  Not so yesterday.  My eyes were burning, crying out for sleep around 3 pm.  I crashed out on the couch at 9:30 last night, and did not wake up until 9:30 this morning.  Still feel absolutely exhausted, could probably sleep for 4-5 hours more.  [Once, this spring, I slept for 23 hours out of a 36 hour period.  And then slept 11 hours the next night.  And still felt fatigued.  It's very different than just being sleepy and enjoying my time under the covers.]  Generally I get super tired right before the pains flare up, so we'll see.
• As mentioned, I slept until 9:30 - right through my first yoga class that began at 8 am.  BUMMER.  So now I feel as though I *must* do something active today to compensate. Pushing the grocery cart does not count.
• It's a rainy day.  Perfectly grey and lovely.  I haven't lived here for long enough yet to lose my appreciation for how great rainy days are.
• I got a letter from my brother today.  My brother and I haven't had a genuine conversation in years, and we have not spoken a single actual word in almost 6 months.  Part of me is just completely thrown off by the arrival of the unexpected letter, part of me wants to take time to write back, part of me wonders if there's even a point.  What do you say to someone that you haven't said anything meaningful to in years?  How do you compose a succinct, semi-pleasant letter when you can't even articulate how you feel about the person?  How do I justify spending my precious time writing that letter when a little voice nagging inside my head tells me that it probably won't even matter, he won't care in a week, and it will mean little to nothing?  So my productivity wanes under the burden of these questions.

In other news, Monkey becomes more like a dog every day.  As if drinking from the toilet weren't the lynch pin, my cat now runs up to the entryway when I come home, flops onto his side in one swift movement, rolls onto his back and cries until I scratch his tummy. In a pitiful/ridiculous kind of way, it's incredibly endearing.

Time to get on to that whole productivity bit.  Wish me luck.